Author: Badly Drawn Monkey

You could search a lifetime and never once get told that monkeys are couch potatoes.

RIP 30, Hope, and my Feminine Right to Trousers

Okay, so I’m not a character in a DC comic. I guarantee if I were, it’d be the most boring character in the storyline. Check out Wonder Woman – she comes from Paradise with no formal qualifications yet immediately gets a position of relative power. And she has an invisible plane. Even I have better qualifications. Maybe my chances will increase if I get a lasso…

Yesterday was my birthday. This time last year I was being asked, “Have you managed to achieve everything you wanted to by the age of 30?” I hadn’t thought about it until that moment. She perhaps thought that was a really awesome and enlightened question. I ended up beneath my desk, rocking like a lunatic as I sucked my thumb and shed a tear while the candles burnt down into the chocolate cake. (more…)

Reality TV = The Apocalypse

It’s my belief that there’s a direct correlation between Global Warming and reality TV.

It’s no big secret that I don’t watch reality TV. It’s not realistic. The Only Way Is Essex is a true-life depiction of the portion of Essex where nobody wants to know, which featured at least one person who laughably thought of himself as being a big-time gangster. Or, to give it the Essex spelling, ‘gangsta’. Of course, those are the things you won’t hear about until you know the people who know the people he tried desperately to act big. God bless the rough types! (more…)

We Won’t Learn from Amanda Todd

We all make mistakes. It’s something we do to assist us in our growth.  You’re either strong enough to take it, or you aren’t. That’s a fact of life.

Amanda Todd was punished for a webcam show. She flashed someone, that was all. For that, the man she flashed stalked her, sending pictures of her to everywhere he could, making her life a living hell.

Let me tell you something about this type of girl. I could have been her. (more…)