My favourite part about pregnancy is the sleep side of things.

Sure, I’m feeling all sorts of crooked at the moment, my neck feels firmly connected to my left shoulder blade, and I’m not entirely convinced that my back is connected to me at all, but the dreams are really making up for it all!

One of my least favourite of late was the one where Famke Janssen requested a threesome with me and Travis. All good, so I think to myself in the dream, until it occurs to me that I’m very much into the men and just can’t work out what the heck to do with a woman. Still, Travis did, and so he went there.

Cue him waking up to me having a go at him for having it off with someone else in a dream. These hormonal moments are quite entertaining at times. It started with a glare which quickly progressed to an accusing finger and a statement of, “You cheated on me!” He looked shocked to say the least – after all, at that point we went to the office together, came home together, and the furthest we’ve ever been apart is when he’s in his office and I’m in mine. Hardly enough room for a man to cheat.

Still, after about thirty seconds of sheer bemusement, Travis was laughing about how I had told him off for “cheating” on me in a dream, emphasising the part where I had condoned this threesome in my sleep. We’ve all had a good laugh about it, his office and mine, if only because I had heralded it as an example of how I really do feel sorry for all men who’ve ever had to deal with a pregnant woman.

I’ve since read that the dreams involving Travis cheating on me or leaving me in general are pretty normal. Psychologically, he’s the person I’m supposed to be closest to, therefore he’s the person I’m most afraid of losing. Likewise, I’m dreaming more in small, fluffy animals, and apparently there’s a reason for that, too.

My most recent dream involved someone for some weird and inexplicable reason allowing me to feed the animals at a zoo while they rounded up the lions.

While I was going to feed the llamas, a chimpanzee bounded out from her enclosure, ran over to me and took my hand, walking around with me to help me. Her hand was warm, her excitement showed her happiness to be out and about doing new things. When I was about to feed the more aggressive animals, I took her back to her enclosure, which had a nice large hole in it, and told her to stay there a little while, come out when she wanted a cuddle.

At some point I went to feed the bearcats, which for some reason only known to my psyche were between some pygmy marmosets and tigers, and the marmosets escaped. One ran straight into the bearcat cage (I should probably mention at this point that I’m really unimpressed with the size of enclosures these animals were in – except the lions, which were running rampant around everywhere eating people left, right and centre), and the bearcat’s paw came down on it, watching it wriggle around for a while before saying to the tiger beside it, “You should try these, they’re quite nice.”

I managed to get the marmoset out before anything could happen to it, though, and put it back in where it should be before rounding up the rest of the miscreants and popping them in with it. And I think that’s the end of my dream; it’s hard to tell because I’m pretty sure I woke up long enough to tell Travis I was in the middle of an interesting dream before cuddling Rosie and getting back to sleep.

Judging by what I’ve been reading, it would seem that the chimpanzee represents my maternal instinct growing, suggesting I am looking forward to having a close relationship with my child (as of today named either Aiden or Seth – we’re pretty screwed for names if it turns out to be a girl, though I’m plumping for Leia). The marmosets supposedly have something to do with the excitement of having a baby (though marmosets are cuter), while the bearcat represents my worry that something’s going to go wrong.

Going by all this logic, it would seem that the surroundings themselves – lions roaming free, chimpanzees escaping into an area where lions are roaming, and my marmosets are at risk of being eaten – represent perhaps my feelings towards the world, knowing the world isn’t a safe place.

But what the heck, my job’s to raise my marmoset to be a good and sensible monkey. If I can keep him safe from the lions, tigers and bearcats, he’s going to be ok.

Dream musings for the day over and done with!