Let’s start with the previous men in my life:

One of my first boyfriends was a chap by the name of Neville. He wasn’t the sharpest tool in the box, but he was nice. Sweet. Treated me like his little princess. We met one sunny afternoon in Stratford. We walked for hours, talked for ages, and that was us, joint at the hip, for a majority of the following three years. Our relationship, which had been a rather big secret – much to his disgust – fizzled out when my parents made sure that I was never to receive another letter from him once he was sentenced for car theft. A Mercedes-Benz, no less. Some people have no taste. (more…)

Plagiarism is the “wrongful appropriation” and “stealing and publication” of another author’s “language, thoughts, ideas, or expressions” and the representation of them as one’s own original work. The idea remains problematic with unclear definitions and unclear rules. The modern concept of plagiarism as immoral and originality as an ideal emerged in Europe only in the 18th century, particularly with the Romantic movement.

Plagiarism is considered academic dishonesty and a breach of journalistic ethics. It is subject to sanctions like expulsion.

Plagiarism is not a crime per se but in academia and industry, it is a serious ethical offense, and cases of plagiarism can constitute copyright infringement.

And all three paragraphs above were hijacked from Wikipedia. (more…)

My younger brother’s marginally opposed to the plan which the vicar has in mind of demonstrating the Offspring Skill-set. His reason: sound’s a little bit Von Trapp. He’s not wrong.

Big Brother will be playing the guitar. Little Brother might be dancing (I don’t actually know because I never really pay attention and this is what led to the Von Trapp statement) but he’s definitely doing a reading. I am … carrying a candle. (more…)

The Tomboy Beginnings

Supermarine S.6B

If you’ve read about my relationship with Wicket, my gorgeous owl, you may have gathered I’m not the most feminine of women.

From a young age, my parents tried their hardest to create the perfect girlie. It didn’t really work out that way. My personal interpretation was that when you have a Catholic grandfather who has nine brothers and almost all those brothers have sons (only one daughter among them), and those sons have sons, it’s a scheme that’s bound to fail.

So there I was, four years old, stealing my brother’s Transformers, stashing them in a Barbie satchel, and heading out to find the nearest climbable tree so I could sit in its branches and play for a while without my brother moaning that I’ve nicked his stuff again. And, of course, before my mother could start shrieking about either her missing daughter, or the daughter up the tree who was about to kill herself. The latter is always foresight, in her case. It would go something like this: “She’s going to die! I can see it, it’s going to happen!”

I was young and the only thing I could think was, “Oh my god, why didn’t they tell me this morning I was going to die? I would have taken Starscream too!” (more…)

A Falconer’s Apprentice

White Faced Scops owl

I’m making a sweeping generalisation in my suggestion that the Daily Mail’s favourite spiller of bile and guts is a a Tory-supporting little tosser born into money. I’m very much aware of this.

I’d like to think I’ve at least been raised the right way by my (Tory-supporting) parents. Like the average run-of-the-mill newsy-type with zero actual news or sports to report on these days, I’m Circumstantially Prejudiced. (more…)

Okay, so I’m not a character in a DC comic. I guarantee if I were, it’d be the most boring character in the storyline. Check out Wonder Woman – she comes from Paradise with no formal qualifications yet immediately gets a position of relative power. And she has an invisible plane. Even I have better qualifications. Maybe my chances will increase if I get a lasso…

Yesterday was my birthday. This time last year I was being asked, “Have you managed to achieve everything you wanted to by the age of 30?” I hadn’t thought about it until that moment. She perhaps thought that was a really awesome and enlightened question. I ended up beneath my desk, rocking like a lunatic as I sucked my thumb and shed a tear while the candles burnt down into the chocolate cake. (more…)

It’s my belief that there’s a direct correlation between Global Warming and reality TV.

It’s no big secret that I don’t watch reality TV. It’s not realistic. The Only Way Is Essex is a true-life depiction of the portion of Essex where nobody wants to know, which featured at least one person who laughably thought of himself as being a big-time gangster. Or, to give it the Essex spelling, ‘gangsta’. Of course, those are the things you won’t hear about until you know the people who know the people he tried desperately to act big. God bless the rough types! (more…)

We all make mistakes. It’s something we do to assist us in our growth.  You’re either strong enough to take it, or you aren’t. That’s a fact of life.

Amanda Todd was punished for a webcam show. She flashed someone, that was all. For that, the man she flashed stalked her, sending pictures of her to everywhere he could, making her life a living hell.

Let me tell you something about this type of girl. I could have been her. (more…)