Vegetables and Other Tales

Today I’ve been digging in to a pretty awesome blog.

I’ve –  on and off – been doing this whole Forever Living thing. Have you heard of it? Perhaps not. Allow me to summarise the Cleanse 9:

  • Breakfast is three tablets, a couple of shots of chewy evil (aloe vera gel), and loads of water.
  • Snack is a sachet of fiber – dissolved in loads of water.
  • Lunch (for two days) is three tablets, a couple of shots of chewy evil, and loads of water.
  • Dinner (for two days) is two tablets, a couple of shots of chewy evil, and loads of water.

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Hindle House, Hackney, Remembers Blitz 75 Years On

My Grandmother had been 15 years old when her grandmother refused her offer to make the tea – a refusal that saved my nan, but killed her grandmother.

That fateful evening, the air raid sirens gave warning of the overhead Messerschmitts. Nan’s uncle Chris Appleby had the torch, and her gran refused Nan’s offer to make a cuppa because of that torch: “No, you don’t know where the bucket is because I’ve lent Chrissy the torch.”

So Nan stayed in the lounge with her mother. That was the last they saw of the Appleby Matriarch, Edith. (more…)

When Exposure Just Isn’t Payment

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Twitter account For Exposure.

Here you’ll find myriad reasons why the boss won’t be parting with some cash. You know – aside from the usual reason why nobody really wants to part with cash. Well… I say “nobody”. I sure as hell would to get an awesome house of my very own.

But while exposure isn’t actually a bad thing… I can’t think of a way to actually finish that.

Yesterday I was pretty much offered a job within five minutes of a conversation with a man I went to the extent of Googling in the run-up to this chat. Kudos on the multiple ventures and the title that everyone’s throwing around – “entrepreneur” – but my brain went into overdrive. (more…)

Goodbye, ‘Never Mind The Buzzcocks’

It’s with much sorrow I must tell you all that the BBC has finally canned Never Mind the Buzzcocks after 18 years of entertainment.

My personal source of mirth was first broadcast back in 1996. Those of us who watched will have fond memories of the most memorable rounds, like the celeb lineup – kind of like Where’s Wally but the person used to be famous – and guess that song (I particularly liked the one that went waaaaaa bum bum bum bum gudda gucha… shhhhhhh).

Of course, historically it’s only really been the viewers who loved the show. Some of the celebrities didn’t quite see the funny side. (more…)

Ode to Yesterday – Raining Water, Not Work

Yesterday morning I woke up with a yawn and a stretch to brilliant sunshine and a dog on my head.

I proceeded to do what every Norman does: I had a shower, fought over the electric toothbrush with my significant other, and returned to the bedroom to get dressed.

The sunlight brought with it this level of warmth that screamed: “Thou Shalt Not Wear a Jumper!” And so I didn’t. I dressed for the weather.

Mistake No. 1: Forgetting that I live in England. (more…)

The Wonders of Online Dating – Part 3: The Gift of Blah

It seems oh so very long ago, and now it’s something you only read about in the classics. A man would set his sights on a woman and it was pretty much assumed that they would marry and have kids, the whole caboodle.

Far more recently, romance entered the equation. A man would show up at his date’s door with a bunch of flowers, a box of chocolates, who knows what. He would take her out for dinner, they would make polite, possibly awkward small talk, the night would end with maybe the gent walking his bird (“lady friend”) to the front door and offer a polite handshake or a goodnight kiss. Following the date there would either be a massive nothing or the flowers, the occasional phone call, more dates, yadda yadda, blah blah.
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